3 leadership lessons I’m learning from my Dog
Truffle turned two this week. Who is Truffle, you ask? His official title is CWO, i.e Chief Wellness Officer but you can refer to him as my pet dog. Why is this relevant? Because, one, the world would be a better place with more dogs in it. And two, dogs are not only the most adoring creatures on the planet, they are also our best teachers. That’s right. Dogs can be our best teachers. They teach us how to be more present humans, and how to be better leaders. If we are willing to learn.
Truffle was born to Leia and Dexter on Nov 1st, 2020, and I brought him home at a difficult time in my life, so it’s only fitting that we sit here on the eve of his second birthday, after our walk, as I sit here amazed and thankful for all the ways a non-human creature continues to teach me about how to be a better human. As I try to focus on the keyboard, Truffle’s wet from the dew front paw sits over my arm, his brown eyes droopy from sleep, momentarily wanting to engage and lean into his role as the co-author of this work, but also fully content that someone else is doing the work while he snoozes for a few hours pre-bedtime. And as if he’s hearing my thoughts, he opens his eyes, looks at me, locks his gaze on me and reminds me that he’s not only the co-author but also the inspiration behind this and, really the MVP. With that statement out of the way, he yawns dramatically, and goes off to sleep.
Point noted, and sweet dreams, you lazy-and-content-with-it magnificent creature. And Leia and Dexter, I like what you did there. Thank you.
Several studies have shown what many of us instinctively know to be true — that having dogs or pets helps with long term mental health, helps to fight anxiety and depression, fights loneliness and helps to enhance mood and wellness. Even small interactions with dogs cause the human brain to produce oxytocin, a hormone often referred to as the “cuddle chemical”. The influence that dogs have on our personal lives is well cataloged and discussed. Distinguished authors have written about it, movies have been made, poems written, awards won, tears shed. And if your Instagram reel is anything like mine, you are following more golden doodles on instagram than people, and if that’s reflective of your social life IRL too, you know what, NO SHAME in that! You are not alone.
Our furry friends and our leaders — they have a lot in common*. We all know how it feels to work with a great leader. I have been fortunate to have worked with some incredible humans and great managers and leaders. The best leaders have taught me lessons just by observing them and working alongside them that I am trying to incorporate in my own professional development. Leaders offer opportunities, support and coaching when necessary.They build self-confidence and reward good performance. They are driven by a sense of purpose, and they are always curious about the world, and are most lit up when they’re chasing a cause that’s meaningful to them, or when they are learning something new — whether it is advancing their subject matter expertise, or their knowledge of what motivates their teams. A good leader rewards good performance, and expresses their appreciation and gratitude in different ways. Good leaders don’t necessarily come from the best schools or have the best pedigree** but they have good intuition, are driven by purpose and a boundless desire to be better.
Here are 3 lessons I am learning from my co-worker and CWO Truffle that I wanted to share
- Good Communication skills
While there isn’t a ‘shared language’ for communication in the traditional sense between dogs and their humans, when bonded, they understand each other exceptionally well. This is probably the most stunning thing about the relationship between a human and a dog, that it doesn’t require a shared language, and that this language can be formed over the bonding experience. Dogs are experts at reading and noticing body language. Dogs respond to human faces that express six basic emotions — anger, fear, happiness, sadness, surprise, and disgust. There is a common perception that humans train dogs. I disagree — I think dogs have their ways and they train their humans just as we train them. I also don’t necessarily agree with “training” — I think of it as co-existence. This coexistence and relationship between human and dog, is reflective of how connections are meant to be at their core. Developed, nurtured and appreciated.
What I’m learning: Good leaders offer their attention to their people, and not only listen to the words, but also pay attention to how those words are expressed — the tone of voice, the emotion, the intention behind the words, the body language, the gestures. Good leaders make their needs and goals clear, but understand when you have a bad day, and will have your back. They are loyal, they are your friends, and when you walk with them, you feel their support, companionship and presence. Good leaders read their audience, and strive to learn about their people, how they communicate, and strike a bond with them. This is particularly important and challenging for remote teams, and great leaders are finding ways to connect through virtual and in-person time, and more informal conversations that enable a more authentic connection and allow for free-flowing conversation
2. Agile and Adaptive
Dogs have the ability to adjust fairly easily to new situations, despite being plucked from their natural habitats, separated from their mother and removed from their littermates and their pack. However, no matter what life change they’re going through, dogs do need time to adjust. Their humans can help them adjust to a new home by creating some routine but also leaving space for spontaneity, spending more time to help the dog adjust and bond, creating a safe, warm space for the dog and not leaving them alone for too long. One of the best practices I learnt when helping Truffle adjust was to spend a lot of time with him on the floor — at his level, playing with him engrossed in his world. All of these times, it felt like he wasn’t “dog” and I wasn’t “human” — we are both creatures having different experiences of the same universe. At barely 2 feet tall, he gave me a different perspective of the universe.
What I’m learning: A good leader realizes that a new team member will need time to adjust. They will provide a sense of vision early on, define some boundaries and schedule periodic structured check-ins, while still creating space and inviting spontaneous chats or shared opportunities for problem-solving to jump in, and learn more about specific preferences, preferred communication channels, management style, and ways in which they might best thrive. They will create an environment where everyone feels safe and welcome and included, but also offer the freedom to make it their own. They may work alongside you, sometimes creating space for co-working opportunities on a project to better learn about your working style and your specific needs.The best leaders are also ones who are less concerned about hierarchy and more focused on working alongside you and learning from you, discovering your strengths, coaching you when needed, and letting you shine.
3. Curiosity & willingness to learn
Curiosity in a dog is a sign of social health and well-being. Dogs are inclined to explore freely in their natural habitat, and are conditioned to discover their world through their senses — nose first, and then ears and eyes. This has been the most fun and humbling joys of observing Truffle make sense of things like squirrels, birds chirping, vacuum cleaners, garbage trucks, little babies on prams, skateboards, hair dryers, ducks, rivers, lakes, oceans and trees, to name a few. We mill about our days taking everything for granted, but dogs remind us to pause and marvel at these magical things that surround us.
Truffle saw ducks for the first time, and the ducks and the dog looked at each other with what appeared to be awe or an adversarial energy for long moments, and then something else. I can’t quite fathom what transpired between these majestic creatures or what language they used, but I know there was curiosity involved in that dialogue and an understanding was reached.
What I’m learning: Good leaders thrive in diversity of thoughts, debate, discourse and cohesion. They recognize that they may have members on their team with skills that are new, unique and different and they approach these moments with curiosity and interest. When posed with conflicting opinions, they attempt to harmonize around the best outcomes. By asking questions about the person’s experience, what they’re passionate about, and simply asking “what do you think” of their team members when making decisions, they are able to access insights that not only challenge assumptions and expand the mind, but also establish a culture of trust and belonging.
There are probably many other learnings I could share — and I could go on and on, but I am reminded by a wet nose near my back and then a piercing glare from around the left side of my body that it is way past dinnertime, and if I don’t get up now and serve dinner, that there may be consequences. As I log off and walk towards the kitchen, I see the wagging tail up in the air and paws following me around and I know that the real MVPs around here are the ones who give it their all, unconditionally and experience the world with boundless curiosity.
* I only mean this in the best of ways, with the utmost respect and appreciation. I don’t say this facetiously and mean no disrespect.
**Truffle was born to health-tested parents, but was the runt of the litter, and was both simultaneously always hungry and asking for food, and yet underweight for most of his first year. Initially, we struggled with understanding each other . Today, his command of the spoken languages is limited to about 10 words, 5 hand gestures, a few different facial expressions — but his boundless enthusiasm, support, love and curiosity for the world amazes and inspires me everyday
***Of course, dogs also do a lot of things I wouldn’t recommend for leaders. I’m certainly not advocating for extended periods of eye contact in the professional realm, or slapping your human’s laptop shut abruptly, or tugging at their shoes when they work, even though I am in awe of how effective it is in my household.
